Nulltime
by Winnychan
Summary: Donatello finds himself dismantled in the aftermath of a terrible mistake. Trapped in a limbo outside time, he must accept unlikely help as he struggles towards recovery and redemption. Set during the 1st year of Leo's training. 2007 CGI Movieverse


**Author's Note: **

**Well guys, I've been hanging onto this for awhile... Nulltime takes place within the same universe as all my other fics, and begins before the new CGI TMNT film -- about a year into Leo's training period.**

**Originally all this was slotted to appear in the form of a flashback chapter within The Talk. However I quickly realized that what I wanted to say was going to take more than one chapter, and decided to go ahead make it two... Right away I was worried that I wouldn't be able to swing things serious enough to accomodate being suddenly thrust into these memories, especially when I realized how long it was all going to run. After another month or so daydreaming about all this stuff, I started worrying that including everything I wanted to cover might even turn into THREE chapters. And well, gentle readers, that's just a seriously long flashback. **

**Last night it all sort of hit me at once. What the heck was all this stuff even DOING smack dab in the middle of the Talk in the first place!? **

**I mean, it's all still going to be covered there too, don't get me wrong. The events I intend to explore within Nulltime are already having a visable effect on the plots taking place in my other two main multi-chapter fics. But I'm going to show it to you from the other three's point of view instead, and let it stand alone in that readers will learn only as much as they do.**

**But here we can get glimpses of what really happened... Please enjoy Don's terrible secret. **

**XOXO**

**Winnychan**

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* * *

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_In this farewell  
There's no blood, there's no alibi  
'Cause I've drawn regret  
From the truth of a thousand lies  
So let mercy come and wash away  
What I've done _

_I'll face myself  
To cross out what I've become  
Erase myself  
And let go of what I've done_

* * *

He would have preferred the Brooklyn Bridge. There was something poetic about it. The problem with the Brooklyn Bridge was one of probability. Too many people before him had made that choice and lived to tell the tale. 

On this ledge, looking down at the thin strip of concrete and light traffic beneath him, he knew that his chances of survival were next to none. Here, the odds were in his favor. In the whole of his heart, he wanted nothing more than to perish.

Far below him, somewhere on the first floor of New Bellevue Hospital, April O'Neil was being wheeled into intensive care. He didn't deserve to live after what he had done to her.

He stepped off the ledge and into freefall.

* * *

Then, impossibly too soon, he made impact… face down into a pit of pink pillows. 

He sat up, wildly thrashing at them. Fighting the impossible surroundings. Fighting the fact that his heart was still hammering in his chest. It should not still beat at all. He should be dead. Despair welled in him then, closing off his throat until he was gasping and choking on horror and terrible sorrow. Why – _why couldn't he just be dead?_

Then he looked over and saw that he wasn't alone. A beautiful, scantily clad girl was seated on her knees at the edge of the pillow pit. Her clear blue eyes were wide and shining, watching him intently. Her full, perfect lips were slick with gloss and pursed with obvious concern for him. Blonde hair spilled over her white shoulders and fell to frame her exquisite cleavage, which he couldn't help staring at now. Impossible. Everything about the situation was completely impossible.

He should have recognized her by now, but his mind was not ready for reason. Having never believed in Heaven before, he now found himself wondering if maybe he'd wound up there after all by some grievous mistake.

Dragging his gaze off the girl, he looked around in bewilderment. Well, if this was Heaven – it was awfully pink for his taste.

"Pumpkin," the girl chirped, flashing him a nervous smile. "Long time no see."

_That voice._ It triggered something in his brain. Synapses were firing. Understanding was dawning, albeit with a dreadful reluctance. He looked down now and could recognize the object clasped gently in one hand, held against her lap: the Time Scepter.

"R-Renet…" he whispered hoarsely.

She gave him a sweet, sad smile. "Hi, Donnie."

This was no Heaven. He knew that now.

It was a rescue.

"N… _**NO!**__"_ The word was wrenched from him, so forceful and full of pain that she sat back on her heels and blinked at him in astonishment. Moving on all fours, he scrambled across the pillows and came to seize both her arms just below the shoulders. "Send me back!" he begged, shaking her. His eyes were wild, mad with grief. "Oh, please… please Renet, just let me go!"

"Um, actually," she pleaded, eyes darting down to indicate either arm, though her voice remained entirely light and sing-song, "maybe you could let me go. Cuz that, like, kind of hurts, sweetie!"

"I'm sorry!" Donatello recoiled at once, releasing her. "I – didn't mean to!" He cringed and curled in on himself, his hands beginning to shake uncontrollably as he brought them up to cover his face. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he kept repeating as he began to sob. "I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. I didn't…"

"Aww, Donnie, honey…" Her expression melted with sympathy, and she began to give him a look typically reserved for small children or particularly adorable kittens. "I know you didn't mean to hurt her. That's, like, totally why I'm here!"

"I – I love her. Oh god," he shuddered, "I love her so much."

"Aww!" she cooed again. Crawling forward, Renet timidly began to pet the top of his head. "Shhh… see how seriously SWEET you are? Like, duh you didn't mean to! Total no-brainer, Donnie, fer real! You just didn't know how, like, totally into her you'd be, and how hard that would make it to be gentle. Or maybe – you didn't really work out the, like… you know. The problems with the physics of it, right?"

He was still wracked with tears, but he was quieting. And Renet thought that something she'd said might have actually got him to start _listening_.

Encouraged, she continued. "Oh, hey, and also? You've totally got all kinds of stuff to invent still! And like, mad discoveries to make, and like hundreds of tons of people to save! Just like you totally saved MY life, remember?"

He shrugged away from her touch, mumbling, "…I can't I just… I just _can't_…"

"You can't remember? Bummer! Well, I totally could never forget. Not in a million years! I so totally owed you one, pumpkin! I would've had, like, ZERO chance of graduating if it weren't for you!"

He groaned, but was unable to muster enough coherency to correct her. He wished he could think of some polite way to shut her up, though. Every sentence she uttered seemed to end with an exclamation mark. Her cheer was suffocating him.

"So I HAD to do it, see? And not just for you! Even though you are seriously super smart, and way cute, and such a gentleman that it's just, like, precious to pieces!" She clasped her hands beside her cheek. If this had been one of Mikey's manga comics, there would have been hearts drawn over her eyes.

He was peeking up at her from between two fingers now, staring like he was once again questioning whether or not any of this was real. It had just occurred to Donatello that this might actually be Hell.

"But yeah, also? There's, like... you know. Your brothers. You should know, like, it could still go several ways after this... but ALL of the ways are, like... majorly bummerific! Like there's this one where Leo comes home and totally thinks it was because-- OHWAIT! Ohshit! I can't tell you this stuff, Donnie. I'd get so busted for sure! But like, um... trust me. _Major._ Bummer."

Definitely Hell.


End file.
